i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
