LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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