I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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