No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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