ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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