Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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