Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
