what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
