i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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