i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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