Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
