idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
