Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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