No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
