If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
