what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
