OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
