Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
