I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
