maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
