You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
