NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
