My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize