wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
