If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
