I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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