Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
