Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
