Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize