i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Randomize
