i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
