it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
