there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
