come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
