careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
