You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
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