i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just blew my weed a kiss
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
