I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
