I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
