i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize