do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
