I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
