i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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