soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
