I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
