I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
