i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize