I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
