Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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