i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
we made out on top of his cat.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
