So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
