i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
