i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
All the doctor said was why
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
