let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
ugly people sure do ruin things
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
