Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize