he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
