sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Randomize