forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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