Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
50% drunk capacity currently
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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