I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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