dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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