I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
COCAINE IS GR8
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
