Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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